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My name is NOT cancer

Rossall`s Ramblings 4

They say that “if you didn’t laugh you would only cry!” Well, I’ve tried the crying, and all you get is a big red head and snot down your face... so you`ll excuse me if I opt for the former. So what can I find to smile about today? And that’s the question I ask myself every morning...

Today, I was reminiscing to myself about what we used to get up to at work when I was younger. There were so many funny things happened, it’s difficult to tell you the best stories (and I apologise now, for the continuation of the flatulent theme from my last blog!)

Quite some years ago, I remember working with my mate fitting a gas wall heater for a lovely old lady, who made abundant tea and biscuits, and cleaned up after us all day! I was working at the top of the stairs finishing off, and my mate outside up the ladder cementing up.

Now in those days, we partook of a large lunch as the work was somewhat physical! I can’t remember exactly what I`d had that day, but fish, chips, and mushy peas washed down with a couple of lagers was not unusual! However on this particular day, I guess it had not agreed with me too well - and the cauldron had been "bubbling away" for most of the afternoon...

Unfortunately, I didn’t get sufficient warning (of what was imminent) to take the necessary evasive action of dashing outside... and so I decided a quick check to see if the coast was clear would suffice on this occasion!

Firstly, I checked in front of myself upstairs. Nobody about! Then, I turned my head and looked behind me. Next, I looked over the bannister into the hall and kitchen below. Nobody around, and all clear...

Well what can I say, other than what happened next would`ve measured on the Richter scale and even my mate (who was still in the garden) heard it!

Then, to my absolute horror on turning round, said "lovely old lady" was bent down behind me with a dust oan and brush, sweeping the stairs!!! How could I have missed her when we`re talking 12 inches maximum, face first! And what did she say? “My husband used to do that!"

All I could do was mumble a restrained 'oh sorry, do excuse me' and I dashed down the stairs into the garden, where I lay prone and apoplectic for some minutes, leaving her to carry on sweeping as if nothing had happened.

Had it been some kind of a television comedy show, she would`ve undoubtedly emerged with a significant centre parting!!! Ahh! Those were the days, when a quick blow dry was not only confined to the remit of hairdressers.

To be continued...

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